Is it My Fault? proclaims the gospel of healing and hope to victims who know too well the depths of destruction and the overwhelming reality of domestic violence.
At least one in every three women have been beaten, coerced into sex, or abused in their lifetime. The effects of domestic violence are physical, social, emotional, psychological, and spiritual, and can have long-lasting distressing consequences. It is common for victims of domestic violence to suffer from ongoing depression and recurring nightmares, self-harm, such as cutting, panic attacks, substance abuse, and more.
This book exists to address the abysmal issues of domestic violence using the powerful and transforming biblical message of grace and redemption. Is It My Fault? convincingly shows that the Lord is the only one who can heal the despairing victim. It deals with this devastating problem and sin honestly and directly without hiding its prevalence today.
I Don’t Want To Go Home. I’m Afraid He’ll Do It Again. Is It My Fault?
Globally, one in three women has been beaten, coerced into sex, or otherwise abused. In the United States alone, a woman is assaulted or beaten every nine seconds. Even worse, these statistics don’t begin to reveal the darkness and grief experienced by the women themselves. Domestic violence causes physical, psychological, emotional, and spiritual pain. Clearly, its victims need help, hope, and healing.
Combining theological depth with up-to-date research, Is It My Fault? traces the path from devastation to redemption. Drawing from personal experience and professional expertise as domestic violence counselors, the authors explain how God’s grace can heal the deepest wounds. Written for those who have been abused, Is It My Fault? also equips family, friends, and pastors to care in ways that are compassionate, practical, and informed.
“This book is a tour de force of wisdom, goodness, and compassion for those who know the agony and shame of domestic violence and for every leader who interacts with more than four families in a year. One out of every four homes in America will experience domestic abuse and it is no different in the church than in the so-called secular world. In fact, conservative Christians are more likely to remain in violence and think it is biblical. This treasure of a book invites the reader into a sweeping and life giving understanding of the Bible’s view of women, violence, suffering, and redemption that if embraced would radically alter how victims and care givers address this heartache. This is a must-read book.”
Dan B. Allender, Professor of Counseling Psychology and founding president of the Seattle School of Theology and Psychology
“Specific, tender, concrete, compassionate, bold, understanding, wise, and dyed with the gorgeous gospel of grace that is ours in Christ Jesus. I love this book! It unpacks the experience of the victim without ever feeling coldly analytical. It gives you important things to consider and clear steps to take without ever pushing you. Read it and you’ll feel loved, understood, and helped, but best of all you’ll rest in the love of Jesus more than you have before.”
Paul Tripp, President of Paul Tripp Ministries; executive director of the Center for Pastoral Life and Care in Fort Worth, Texas; and author of A Shelter in the Time of Storm: Meditations on God and Trouble
“The authors’ deeply compassionate writing offers us a book that does not merely speak to us, it comes along beside us—offering both experience and in-depth knowledge about this emotionally charged subject. Too often the church has been not merely been silent but complicit in protecting abusers and marginalizing victims. Justin and Lindsey’s book takes us in a new direction of hope, healing, and mercy. I am more than happy to commend this book.”
Gregory O. Brewer, Bishop of the Episcopal Diocese of Central Florida
“Domestic abuse is an area where sincere but uninformed ‘help’ can hurt. Unfortunately, even the misuse of Scripture, often by well-meaning Christians, can become part of the problem. Justin and Lindsey serve the church well by defining what abuse is, what Scripture says, how victims should respond, and how pastor-counselors can be effectively involved. This is a must-read for pastors, victims, and friends of victims. This issue is too prevalent and devastating to be ignored. The blind eye of the church hurts those without a voice. Read this book and become equipped to effectively care for those whose cry is reaching the ear of God and are waiting for a hand from the body of Christ.”
Brad Hambrick, Pastor of counseling at The Summit Church (Durham, NC) and author of Self-Centered Spouse: Help for Chronically Broken Marriages
“This is it. This is the book on domestic violence that needs to be sitting on every pastor’s desk, required reading for every seminarian, and the next book discussed among church leadership, in book clubs, Bible studies, home groups, and lay counselor trainings. Not only do Justin and Lindsey compassionately and responsibly define domestic violence, identify its signs, its cycles, and its effects on the victims and their communities, they take us to Scripture to reveal God’s heart for those unnecessarily afflicted and trapped in violent domestic relationships. Each person who reads this book will have a better understanding of how to identify domestic violence in their own relationships or in those of people they know, love, and minister to. And with a thorough appendix of practical information and steps to take, both the victims and the ones supporting them will gain the insight and clarity they need to prevent the violence from happening again.”
Monica Taffinder, Cofounder and counselor, Grace Clinic Christian Counseling
“While reading this book I found myself regularly exclaiming ‘Amen!’ and ‘Come on!’ to Lindsey and Justin’s wisdom and biblical understanding of the issues. This book is a valuable and important resource for Christian women who have experienced abuse and for all those who want to support them. Lindsey and Justin invite the Christian community to honor and value women and children and to no longer collude with, perpetuate, or indeed perpetrate abuse against those whom God has created. I have been looking for a book to recommend to women in the conservative Christian church and their supporters; this book is ideal.”
Natalie Collins, Activist working to end violence against women and gender injustice; founder of the DAY Programme and Spark
“In simple, eloquent prose, Justin and Lindsey Holcomb shine a light on the darkness surrounding domestic violence. As detailed in the accounts of survivors, the very husbands and fathers charged with the care of their families sometimes represent the greatest threat. Equally troublesome, many clergy and church leaders routinely support offenders and ostracize victims. In making clear that God stands with the suffering, this book offers survivors a path to healing and the church a path to reform.”
Victor Vieth, Executive Director, National Child Protection Training Center; child protection attorney; author
“Justin and Lindsey have done it again! Their book on sexual abuse, Rid My Disgrace, and now this one, Is It My Fault?, are gifts to the church, its leaders, and especially to those who suffer from the horror and pain of sexual assault and domestic violence. In this book you will find compassionate, practical, biblical, and grace-based help for those who suffer and for those who love and want to help those who suffer. If you are a pastor or a leader and care, this is not an optional book. You will ‘rise up and call’ Justin and Lindsey blessed for writing it . . . and, more important, those to whom you minister will, too.”
Steve Brown, Host, Key Life Radio Program; author, Three Free Sins: God Isn’t Mad At You
“Domestic violence demands silence—perpetrators don’t want to be exposed, and victims are too ashamed to speak. Justin and Lindsey counter that silence with words and deeds. They give words to describe it, words to speak to the Lord, words that remind us of the truth, such as ‘It is never my fault’ and ‘He [God] delights in us,’ and deeds that can bring the violence to an end.”
Ed Welch. Counselor and Faculty, the Christian Counseling and Educational Foundation; author
“The roots of domestic violence and the resulting wounds and scars are deep and enduring. So I am very grateful for the wisdom and expertise of Justin and Lindsey Holcomb in helping the church understand and apply the biblical requirements of justice and accountability and the biblical promises of healing and hope. The Holcombs’ work is a gift from God to all of us and a valuable ministry of Christ’s restorative gospel for those who have suffered great harm.”
Jared Wilson, Pastor of Middletown Springs Community Church and author of Gospel Wakefulness
“One of every four women you know has or will face intimate partner violence. What does the God of Scripture say to them? In this rich and rare resource, Justin and Lindsey Holcomb combine their theological and practical training to offer these women a way out of both abuse and the shame and despair that accompany it. They show powerfully how the ‘one-way violence’ of abusers is overcome by the ‘one-way love’ of God in Christ. I recommend this book to every church leader looking for a truly Christ-centered response to domestic violence in their midst.”
Katelyn Beaty, Managing Editor, Christianity Today
“Could the gospel be not just for sinners, but for victims? Having worked with many who have been impacted by psychological, sexual, and physical abuse, I am so grateful for this book. It reminds me, once again, that the gospel is indeed good news—particularly to those who have been victimized.”
Chuck DeGroat, Associate Professor of Pastoral Care and Counseling, Western Theological Seminary; senior fellow, Newbigin House of Studies; and author of Toughest People to Love
“The Holcombs offer an ‘intervention of grace’ to those who suffer under domestic violence. They show that the God of the Bible abounds in grace and love, restoring dignity and hope to those who’ve been harmed. Victims will find a voice to speak out about the violence they’ve endured, guided by the very words of Scripture, and they will find a God who acts with righteous power to rescue the oppressed.”
Mike Wilkerson,Author, Redemption: Freed by Jesus from the Idols We Worship and the Wounds We Carry