The People Pleaser's Guide to Loving Others without Losing Yourself

We all want other people to like us and think well of us. But when we depend on the praise, admiration, or appreciation of others for our sense of self-worth, we become trapped in an exhausting and debilitating cycle of people-pleasing relationships where we always give and rarely receive. The most common advice we hear--Start putting your own needs first!-- doesn't work, because we do love helping other people!

Thankfully, the solution to the people pleaser's "problem" isn't to fundamentally change who you are--it's to fundamentally change where you find your worth. In this freeing book, Dr. Mike Bechtle shows you stop letting your fears of rejection, criticism, invisibility, or inadequacy drive your actions and start rebuilding your sense of self-worth from the inside out. When you do, you'll discover that what you once thought of as a struggle is actually a strength.

From the Back Cover

As a people pleaser, what's the most common advice you hear? Start putting your own needs first! But here's the thing: it doesn't work. Why?

Because you love helping people!

We all want other people to like us and think well of us. But when we depend on the praise, admiration, or appreciation of others for our sense of self-worth, we become trapped in an exhausting and debilitating cycle of people pleasing relationships where we always give and rarely receive. Thankfully, the solution to the people pleaser's "problem" isn't to fundamentally change who you are--it's to fundamentally change where you find your worth.

In this freeing book, Dr. Mike Bechtle shows you how to stop letting your fears of rejection, criticism, invisibility, or inadequacy drive your actions and start rebuilding your sense of self-worth from the inside out. When you do, you'll discover that what you once thought of as a struggle is one of your greatest strengths.


Dr. Mike Bechtle (EdD, Arizona State University) is the author of several books, including People Can't Drive You Crazy If You Don't Give Them the Keys and How to Communicate with Confidence. His articles have appeared in publications such as Writer's Digest, Pastors.com, and Entrepreneur. A frequent speaker, Bechtle lives in California. Learn more at www.mikebechtle.com.